ill-uminated CHAOs

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Can’t sleep.
Went to an August alsina concert.
Teya a Taylor was his opening act which was the greatest surprise/event
Of the night.
Live for that bish.
August is sexy as fuck too And
I zont even like skinny niggas.
I also ran into Mari
Which was also shocking as hell

He was alone. & didn’t speak.
Not to me at least.
Ironically he ends up chatting it up with my brother not even knowing who he was talking to.
Lol. Good shit.

I’m enjoyed myself nine the less. Next concert I wanna be with a group of poppin women & rock it out with our cock-it’s out.

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Touching someone else.

I know
With my whole heart
Kissing will never feel how
It felt with you.

We melted into each other
When we kissed.
I remember when you started to pull back
Said it, felt like
We were transferring souls.

I should have had
A problem with the fact that THAT was a problem.
I might of.
Shit, being with you
Got me in the habit of surpressing feelings.

You had a way with
making me believe
What I was feeling was made up

Or rather, I let you have a way

I let you in.
Let walls down.
& you came frolicking through
With what seemed to be your greatest

But as with everyone except (bf)
All the bags I came with got heavy
& you Ran.
You pulled back.
You resisted.

You shut me out.
& that shut me down. A year & some months forward into my life
And I still have this lingering
Feeling in my stomach for you.
Like whole pieces of me are missing
& beckoning
To be back with me.

I want to shake you.

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i am stuck in a conversation
with someone i was once very close to
and we are stepping over eggshells,
choosing our words carefully.

there is a pool filling up around us;
all of the words we want to say but do not.
want to ask but do not.
we are both pretending
we do not notice
the tightness
in our lungs.

drown, f.gabdon (via thegabdonwrites)

170 notes

He said,
He believed in love,
More than he believed
That the sky was blue.

Said the feelings in his heart,
Were truer than the world
And all of its hues,

I said darling,
Do you know how long,
I’ve been waiting for you?

f.gabdon (via thegabdonwrites)

(via thegabdonwrites)

340 notes

sometimes we hold onto people because we are afraid to let them go. not because we want them or need them. but because we don’t know how to be without them. we forget who we were, before we became the person we are with them. often, we don’t even remember that version of ourselves and we have no idea how to go back to being just us, alone.
(via thegabdonwrites)

(via thegabdonwrites)